it wasn’t until seeing this fic that I made a really obvious connection, which is that Bucky’s pain in the comics is manpain. And by this I mean… manpain. It’s extremely gendered. The substance of manpain is that a man is unable to be successful at being a Man (unable to protect his people, unable to succeed sexually, unable to dominate, etc) and responds by asserting his masculinity through alternative routes (such as… riding off on a motorcycle into the rainy night, probably carrying an automatic rifle and shedding a single tear). And that is the nature of what happens to Bucky.